Xavier Barkwith

( [Warded Private] )

I decided to buy a female Siamese fighting fish to go along with my male. I'm told I'll have to be careful because apparently the females are prone to eating their erstwhile mate's pretty fins if she's bored or doesn't like him very much. Who knew femal fighting fish could be so temperamental? It rather amuses me. I bought a new tank for the two of them in the hopes I will get little baby fighting fish. The man at my fish store says they'll happily buy the babies if I get any. They're very popular.

Friends, Romans, countrymen and women! Lend me your ears! (I promise to give them back when I’m done. Though I suppose the comical ‘lend me your rears’ would also work well in this situation, given the subject matter!)

I have a spare ticket to see Evita at the Prince Edward Theatre this very Friday evening. Unfortunately the lovely lady who was supposed to be attending with me has come down with a severe case of parental guilt syndrome and has had to return home for the foreseeable future. She’s devastated, I’m devastated but we have both vowed to soldier onwards!

So! Is there anyone who would like to take up this unforgettable opportunity to come and see Evita with me? If I decide I like you enough, I may even thrown in a free dinner at… a restaurant to be decided since I’d hate to take someone to a seafood restaurant when they hated seafood or a place that specialises in steak when they’re a vegetarian. It’s so uncouth to do something like that!

So, tell me, who wants to come and watch the rise and fall of a confident, powerful, arrogant, glorious woman played out in song and stylised, well-choreographed dance?

Look what I bought today!

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It's called a glass armonica. It works on the same principle as running a wet finger around the rim of a crystal glass or bowl except these are specially made to be in tune. It came with a couple of books of music but no how-to manual so I'm going to have some fun figuring out the best way of playing it. I have managed to coax some simple notes and scale runs out of it and I think at least one of the pieces of music in the books - Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy - is going to sound utterly amazing when I figure out how to play it properly.

Of course one of the other problems with this one is that it operates on a treadle to spin the glass bowls and I haven't quite been able to coordinate spinning them consistently and figuring out all the notes and the right pressure to use to play them. I'd like to be able to be that coordinated but I think in the short term I'm going to have to use magic to spin them on a consistent basis then once I master this lovely instrument, I can try it with a manual treadle.

The strings department spent Friday night mourning the death of Maurice Zbriger and I've only just recovered. (Just in time to toddle off back to bed!) He died on the 5th over in Canada. He wasn't the most famous violinist and composer around, in fact he's rather obscure if you are a violinist, but he was a prolific one. I like a number of his pieces, especially his Mother's Lullaby which he dedicated to Prince Charles' when he was born. It's very sweet. I've always wondered whether the Queen and Prince Charles liked it.

Of course, poor Zbriger suffered from the curse that all violinists fear - arthritis in his hands. I suppose all musicians who play an instrument fear that as well. The thought of having your hands maimed by arthritis and to be unable to play ever again is horrifying. I have nightmares about that from time to time. Not exactly wake up screaming nightmares but certainly wake up in a cold sweat and spend the next three hours staring at my hands as I exercise them type of nightmares. The only thing worse would be Glorianna being destroyed. At least if my hands were mangled, someone else would be able to coax a tune out of Glorianna and love her as she deserves to be loved.

Methinks today is an excellent day to send all those secret messages to each via owl instead of by journal.

Of course, that ruins half the fun but what can you do?

And I think I deserve credit for manfully resisting the urge to have a little fun with the warding problem.

It was suggested to me not long ago by... someone! I'm sorry, I can't remember who suggested it. But anyway! It was suggested me not long ago that I ought to show you all my gorgeous Glorianna, the lady in my life. I haven't in the past because I get terribly jealous when other people admire her and I'm tremendously possessive of her. She is mine, after all, and I don't share her with anyone. I've been told I'm being silly about it all but my old mentor, Gabriel, understands perfectly. As well he might, Glorianna was his before he gave her to me. I will never be able to thank him enough for giving her to me. She was a gift beyond all measure. She's just so beautiful and she sings so gloriously.

So without further ado, here is my beautiful Glorianna!

( Glorianna )

Oh! And I ought to thank everyone who came to the Bach Recital on the weekend. I know the events in Diagon Alley weren't the best start to the weekend but I hope that we were able to add some beauty and serenity to the end of it and send you all off to your mundane jobs with the music of Bach in your hearts!

First and foremost, let all get past the unpleasantness so I can remind everyone of the Bach Recital being held by the staff of the Dashiel Conservatory this Sunday, 25th March from 2pm. Tickets are free with a donation of your choice to the Conservatory. Everyone's been rehearsing furiously and if you love classical music and Bach in particular, you won't be disappointed!

Onto more fun stuff! My guppies are growing and diminishing. Growing in size but diminishing in number. I was told that would happen and it's normal but it's still a little sad. It'll be a little while longer before I can work out which are male and which are female. I can't wait. They're so cute!

I bought myself a new fish! He's beautiful!! He's a Siamese Fighting Fish. Anyway, here he is!

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Technically, he's a Betta splendens and splendid he is indeed! At the moment, he's swimming around in the tank but they told me to keep an eye on him and if the other fish start nibbling on his fins to put him in a small floating tank for a little while. They're leaving him alone for the moment and he looks terribly dignified.

Ugh! What a horrid weekend! I've only just recovered from the lack of sleep. And my fingers! Blisters everywhere. Self-inflicted, of course, but what was I to do? Sit around listening to the howls and screams of those horrible creatures or play my darling Glorianna? I opted for the latter and played myself into blisters for the first time in years. Our conductor is grouchy at me because it means I can't rehearse but what else was I to do? And am I ever thankful that I spent that ghastly sum of money to have my house properly warded!

Even my fish seem down after the weekend. They're just not swimming around as cheerfully as they were before and the little fry are hiding away all the time. They seem almost despondent. Can fish get worried and depressed? Maybe they're a little upset about the music I was playing on the weekend. Or maybe they miss my usual playing! Another day for my fingers to get better and I'll be able to test that out!

LOOK! Look, look, look! I HAVE LITTLE BABY FISH!

( Wave your wand )

They're so tiny! And cute! And they're called fry! And no, that's not what you do with them. They're too small. That's only a few of them. There are lots in the tank. I've been told that nature will whittle them down to just a handful over the next week or so, which is kind of sad but I guess I can understand why it happens that way. If it didn't, the water would full of hundreds and hundreds of guppies. I can't wait to see what kind of colours they're going to be.

And on an equally exciting note - the staff of the Dashiell Conservatory would like to invite you all to a Bach Recital on the afternoon of the 25th of March from 2pm onwards. There will be solos on many instruments as well as a number of ensembles playing and/or singing. Tickets are free with a donation to the Conservatory of an amount that is comfortable for you to be sought on the day. Mrs Prewett, your tickets will be on their way to your as soon as possible.

( [Warded Private] )

Just as well I don't live in an apartment any more or my neighbours might well have tied me up and spanked me (kinky!) for practising until all hours last night. What can I say? I'm going to be performing the Ciacconna of Bach's Partita in D minor for solo violin in a month's time and I need to get it right.

You know, I would have thought he'd be more Danse Macabre or Night on Bald Mountain than Celestina Warbeck. Or if he was going to go for screeching females*, at least the Queen of the Night aria from Mozart's Magic Flute? Or moving away from screeching females, Verdi's Dies Irae? I think that one just screams 'Big Bad Death Eater', doesn't it?



*The term is used facetiously for all those about to take umbrage. I happen to adore screeching females, especially when they're in key and can sing the Queen of the Night aria.

I refuse to talk about politics or other horrible things

On the advice of the delightful Mrs Lucretia Prewett, I have gone and purchased myself a tankful of pretty fish! I was going to just buy some goldfish but the very informative and persuasive young man at the shop talked me into getting tropical fish instead. It was a bit more complicated to set up but they are much more interesting than goldfish without requiring that much more in the way of care. He did start me off with what he called 'beginner fish' though as well as several sheets of instructions and helpful hints. He was a very lovely young man!

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It's very relaxing watching them swim around the tank.

( [Warded Private] )

Pets seem to be the latest rage and I do so hate being out of fashion. So, darling readers, what say you? What is the best kind of pet for a man of the arts?

( [Warded Private] )

Ugh. Can I make one simple request? If you’re going to audition for a place at the Dashiell Conservatory, can you please ensure you actually have some talent first? Please. Being assaulted by off-key singing and the ghastly scraping of people with no talent whatsoever almost makes me vomit.

Go out and get an objective opinion on your singing or playing. Don’t just rely on your Mummy and Daddy’s gushing opinion and don’t think that just because your friends hang off every note that you sing or play that they’re being anything other than sycophants. True friends would actually tell you that you have no talent. And no, we don’t care who your father is or how much money you have. We admit people based on talent, nothing else.

( Friends )

( Xavier Barkwith )